Addison Rae said it, I thought about it, and now I’m freaking out.
Am I bypassing the beauties of life by being completely absorbed by my digital world?
Yes. The answer is definitely yes.
It takes 36 minutes on the bus from my house to reach my work - a trip I do everyday. As a car-less person, I get public transport frequently. From the moment I step out of the house, until the moment I reach my destination, my headphones are in.
Most trips on the bus, I could tell you about any major occurrences; myki inspectors (sigh), being stuck in traffic (being late sucks) or if the local crazy sits next to you (don’t make eye contact!). But I rarely could tell you what colour the sky was or what the person next to me was wearing.
You could be knees deep in the wild, completely immersed in the hustle of the outside world, while being even further inside your own sphere.
And quite frankly, this is what I love most about having my headphones in. I can filter out life, curating the perfect ambience with an over-the-top level of meticulousness. In turn, shutting down the inner monologue, the internal self-critic, and entering a safe zone. You can create an unapologetic world that can hold space for the sad you, the happy you, or the adventurous you. There is something intimate about that.
On the other hand, I can’t deny a somber reality of always having your headphones in.
Headphones are the modern “do not disturb” sign. Mark Manson’s book, “The Subtle Art of Giving a Fuck” explains that we have a limited threshold of ‘fucks to give’ and it means we have to carefully select which parts of life 'to give a fuck about'. We put headphones in as a way to deter people from sparking conversation, because we have limited care for things outside of our own lives. Honestly, I think this is a really sad point of view. We are becoming a lazy society, with everlasting excuses to validate the laziness.
I get the 7.24am bus to work every morning, and the same people get on this bus everyday. Arguably, I am in the same vicinity as these strangers more in a week, than I am with my closest friends or family. But never have we had any sort of interaction and I’m not really sure why. I have seen these people 200 days of the year and I am still confined by my fear of embarrassment or awkwardness at the thought of a fleeting conversation. On reflection, having headphones in creates a sense of isolation. It closes you off to the life happening around you. By not welcoming the spontaneous exchange between two strangers, you end up missing out on the mundane beauties of life that involve human connection.
Obviously social media, as a whole, is affecting the level of isolation in our society, with a stark increase in youth suicide rates. With headphones being one element of the digital world, it makes me wonder if this day-to-day activity has any effect on this. For some people these everyday exchanges might be their only human interactions of the day.
As I turned 25 this year and started full time work, it made me realise life is going to slip past us and all of these everyday routines and activities will make up most of our lives. I often have these waves of overwhelming despair in whether or not I am living my best life because whatdoyoumeanfiveyearshavepassedandiamdstillgettingthe7.24buswithmyheadphonesin...!
Ok I’m being dramatic but Addison Rae said it, I thought about it and now I’m freaking out.
The truth is: I can appreciate that when my headphones are in, the world is out. I sometimes like it that way. But it does make me sad to know how many daily delights I have missed out on when I close myself off. I desperately want to sit on the bus and take it all in, but for some reason the silence is always louder. So while I am conscious to smile more and invite more strangers into my life, I will continue putting my headphones in... And love it.
